Monday, January 05, 2004

...New Year's eve.

Miracle no1: Arrive in Cambridge on time.
Miracle no2: Not sure how to get to Sarah and Helene's place from the station. Guess. Get it right.
Miracle no3: The girls haven't got thirsty and left.
Miracle no4: Get to the restaurant. Tim turns up, despite my having forgotten to get back to him with the arrangements (mainly as a result of having forgotten to find out for myself before I arrived).
Miracle no5: He is not annoyed.

Restaurant food good. Drinks exhorbitant. Chatted to Colin. Never really spoken at length to him before. Am impressed.
Helene's new boyfriend Richard seems nice. Sarah talks about her mucous plug, and I warn her of the importance of pelvic floor exercises (...your vagina will fall through your crack...).

We all go to The Bath House - Bene't street. It is dead. We get raped by the quizbeast and leave for COCO.

COCO is free entry. The drinks are about double their normal price. Sarah soon takes up with this arsehole who claims to have something to do with the FA, and to know "Sven". We all get (more) pissed. The new year is seen in with the usual shit singing and lame party popper antics. We go up to the second floor. I decide I have to take a shit and go to the toilet. There is CCTV inside the toilet room, near the door. I go the cubicle. There is no lock. I clean the seat and shit, holding the door closed with my foot. Nearly lose my balance and fall onto the piss-drenched floor when someone tries the door. Stand up and flush. Go to sink and get soap. Rub it thoroughly into my hands. Turn the tap on. There is no fucking water. Go downstairs to other gents and wash my hand.

By the time I get back to the second floor, Tim has gone. Sarah Brealey and Colin have also left. Have another drink or two then the bar shuts. We all decide it's time to leave so we go looking for Sarah. We find her with the arsehole. She says she wants to find Stuart ("get me my rat..."). The arsehole says: "Come with me - I'll help you find Stuart".
We decide that we have to get her away from him before he tricks her into going with him for a shag. Richard asks the guy to leave her alone and points out that she's asking for someone else.
The arsehole: "What's it got to do with you"
Richard: "I live with her"
Arsehole: "You don't know who I am. In two years time you'll all know who I am. I went to the Perse(?sic?) School and Cambridge. I've got more degrees than all of you put together."

.....this continues in the same vein for a while, until the arsehole eventually takes a swing at Richard. The bouncer throws him out front, and allows the others to slip out the back way. I haven't really been involved up to now so I go out front to keep an eye on him.

Arsehole to Bouncer: "Let me back in. I just want to talk to her. I'll give you the keys to my BMW as insurance."

The bouncer laughs in his face.


Meet up with the others at the Bath. Stuart is inside at the staff new years bash. Sarah is banging on the door. Helene is in floods of tears because she thinks that Sarah won't go home and that she'll freeze to death. Richard is getting annoyed at Sarah for not leaving. Helene is telling him to make Sarah understand. I am trying not to laugh.

Eventually we all make our way back to Sarah and Helene's flat, put the Basic Instinct video on and chat for ages before going to sleep.

Happy New Year. :-D